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"Last week, when I went to visit my friend, something happened that, in retrospect, wasn't a big deal, but because I tend to overthink things, I've been feeling down about it.
Last week, I had promised to visit a friend I hadn't been in touch with for a long time, and who was hospitalized due to an accident. Initially, I approached the visit with a very positive attitude. We hadn't communicated for several years, so I was thinking about how to make this visit feel natural. I thought about various conversation starters, whether to use inside jokes that only the two of us would understand, or to begin with a standard greeting and then see where the conversation would go. Many ideas kept swirling in my mind. While contemplating, I unconsciously walked into his room.
When we met, my mind suddenly went blank. At that moment, I saw that he had changed significantly from the image I had in my memories. In contrast to the energetic and lively person he used to be, he appeared different, possibly due to the hardships of life or the impact of his injury. His eyes widened when he saw me, and he seemed utterly shocked that I was standing in front of him. In reality, I knew that had it not been for me suddenly taking up journaling, reminiscing about the old times, and learning about his accident, I might not have been so emotionally stirred. But because of these factors and others, I impulsively decided to pay him a visit.
To be honest, there was nothing that had caused a major rift between us. It's just that our paths diverged due to different life experiences and journeys. Such drifting apart, often unnoticed, is quite common in life. Therefore, although I visited him with high emotions and the intention to revisit our shared past experiences, he didn't share the same sentiment. Although I explained the reason for my visit, he couldn't understand why I had suddenly appeared and the purpose of the visit. I realized our expectations had been mismatched from the start. Even though we had a conversation on the surface, we both knew that it was just an obligatory exchange, far from the honest and direct dialogues we had once shared.
After the visit, I felt quite down, but now that I look back, it was nothing more than a case of heightened emotions, daydreaming about a story where we would reunite after several years and pick up right where we left off. But the reality is, well, reality. My feelings and intentions don't always match up with the situation, and others might find it peculiar. Objectively, there are always concrete reasons for the loss of contact between people. So, I wrote this piece to document my somewhat impulsive behavior. I hope you all can take it as a lighthearted anecdote." |
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Post time 19-10-2023 15:30:14
